Meet Ramazan the Great miracatabey, September 12, 2025November 11, 2025 Meet my friend, Ramazan. One of the most impressive people I have ever known. He is looking for job opportunities. Here I share his CV. Please contact him if you want to collaborate: ramazankocayurekoglu@gmail.com RAMAZAN KOCAYUREKOGLU Visionary Curator | Thought Leader | Full-Time Activist Profile Film festival programmer who rejects 99% of submissions while still calling it “supporting independent cinema”. Brings people together around films no one actually enjoys but pretends to appreciate. Mastered saying “important work” with a serious face. Specialized in killing filmmakers’ dreams politely with “unfortunately, we received many strong submissions this year”. Creates reliability with “every film was carefully considered”, while he only watched the first five minutes of the films. Lives by the principle: “If no one knows the process, no one can question it”. Exploits institutional money while preaching about the poverty and struggles of artists. Pairs filmmakers with other programmers, so everyone believes the cinema industry would collapse without him. Experience Selections & Programming Selects films described as “urgent”, “timely”, and “transcendent”. Evaluates with an open mind as long as a film match his interests and sensitivities. Rejects without watching. Creates “controlled and performative diversity” based on skin tones, exotic backgrounds, and gender inclinations. Spends more time arranging sponsors’ logos than watching submissions. Strategic Preaching Moderates panel discussions where no one listens to his questions. Calls every film “subtle” to flatter directors who already hate him. Applauds too long after premieres to show his intellectual superiority. Opportunity & Networking Manager Attends every major film festival to collect wines around the world under the excuse of “discovering new talents”. Discovers films after Cannes already discovered it. Keeps filmmakers desperate but hopeful. Frames emerging talents as underdogs to create “victimization narratives” for promotional use. Shows “tender empathy” to straight male filmmakers as a way of testing if it can be upgraded into something more private. Online Campaign Specialist Creates hashtags like #cinemaunites or #cinemaforchange, while the theater projections are not working properly in screenings. Takes selfies with filmmakers to be supportive, then ignores their emails. Leads online “solidarity campaigns” while overfilling his plate at the hotel buffet with more food than he can ever eat. Signs every activist petition for minimum effort and maximum prestige. Skills Rejecting Films with Empathy Creating Pointless Q&A Questions Standing Ovations with Intellectual Posturing Developing Victim Narratives Curating Illusion of Diversity Hope Monetization for Filmmakers Networking by Name-Dropping Digital Influence by Canceling Milking Grants and Funding Bodies Achievements Built an entire career on rejecting things he never watched. Successfully convinced audiences that gatekeeping = curation. Created an economy where filmmakers pay submission fees for the privilege of being ignored. Maintained prestige by using the names of auteurs who don’t even know him. Personally responsible for hundreds of filmmakers quitting their careers. Transformed the rejection letters into his own literary style. Survived in the industry without creating a single piece about cinema. Note: Please don’t judge him only by his CV. I suggest meeting him in person. That’s the only way you will really understand his greatness. Narrations